October for me has a whole lot of energy! It holds space for a lot of wonderful things. And it also holds a lot of traumatic memories. Both on a personal level and in my former animal welfare career. This is sweet girl was one of them. This dog was my breaking point and the realization that it was time I had to step out of animal welfare because I was so toxic and so damaged.
I loved her deeply and wanted more than anything to keep her. But a tragic accident happened at the shelters “under my watch” took her life. It was something that could have been prevented, in fact, I had brought the issue up a few times, but there’ were always other priorities.
After that incident I no longer had it in me to continue to fight. I felt I could not do my job effectively. I could not lead my team and be in integrity with myself while working against a broken system, within the shelter and the animal welfare field. I was broken too! I carried so much of the trauma of the animals I rescued, as well as the people I worked with, along with my own suitcase full of memories of animals that had abused and neglected. I never allowed the space to recognize or process the trauma I was exposed to everyday. Or didn’t think it was important enough (at that time) to do so. I thought that would show weakness. Perhaps I was to deep in my own anger and playing the victim card, that no one could possibly understand how I was feeling. The truth is, there were and are so many that do.
So for those of you that work in animal welfare, or in a job that requires you to take care of others, put your life at risk, or are exposed to trauma regularly! Please, please, please.... take care of YOU! You can only show up and give your best to the world if you take the best care of yourself! Self care is not just about massages, glitter night with the girls, but it can definitely be part of it. Self care is making sure you are addressing your basic needs. That includes your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual wellness. Be sure you are taking care of that! What are you doing to practice self care? Are you a animal advocate that needs help with creating a self care plan? Send me a DM.
#fridgedumpdinner salad!!! With a side of #bonebroth My salad is full of spinach, peppers, onions, pine nuts, pecans, bacon, cranberries, and squash! So easy and so delicious! #heatyourgut #eatforyourhealth #nourishbowl