The Jewish remembrance prayer Yizkor, a special memorial invocation for the departed, is recited in the synagogue four times a year, following the Torah reading on the last day of Passover, the second day of Shavuot, Shmini Atzeret, and Yom Kippur.
Yizkor means “remember.” It’s not only the first word of the prayer; those who recite it ask God to remember the souls of our relatives and friends who have passed on.
Thus, they renew and strengthen the connection between themselves and their loved ones, bringing merit to the departed souls and elevating them in their celestial homes.
After reciting it, one makes a private pledge to give charity following the holiday in honor of the deceased as a positive physical deed in this world that the departed can no longer perform.
But how do we face our own mortality and not just those of our loved ones who have passed away? What does it mean to feel that a part of us will live on after we are gone?
A new Hebrew University of Jerusalem (HUJI) study of 3,000 Israeli Jews found that people who believed they would be remembered by others tended to report better actually will be remembered, Lifshin said: “I think they are different.
“We checked how much they think they will be remembered, not how much they wanted to. The more you feel you are a good person, the more significance and self-identity you feel. This can reduce the potential for anxiety and fear of death.”
Asked if someone who is obsessed with being remembered could actually have poorer mental health and where’s the boundary between a healthy desire for significance and narcissism, Lifshin said: “We don’t know. We need to do more research.
“There is ‘healthy narcissism,’ to have a good image of yourself. It’s part of human nature, but if it’s obsessive, there can be a problem. And one doesn’t have to be religious to feel a strong sense of symbolic immortality, even if he doesn’t believe in life after death. An atheist can feel it too.”
Living in Israel through the October 7 massacre by Hamas terrorists, the war with Iran, bereavement, and continuing security threats “could have influenced people’s responses, because they want to cope with the threats and feel significance.
“Exposure to death and the possibility of dying can make people more concerned about the legacy they will leave behind. Fear of death at any age leads to wanting to leave children. After World War II, Baby Boomers had a lot more children.”
Belief in an afterlife itself could provide psychological protection against death anxiety, depression and existential distress. “We didn’t focus on this, but we think so,” he said.
Asked why someone who believes that he or she will be remembered has a lower tendency toward problematic gambling, pornography use, gaming, or compulsive social-media use, Lifshin suggested that “we revert to such harmful behaviors to reduce anxiety about threats.
“And if we don’t feel protected or have a positive self-image and close relationships, it’s harder to banish negative feelings, so addictions may make us feel better.
“More than three years after October 7, there was a significant increase among Israelis in addictions. Now, in recent months, when it’s been relatively quieter, they may have lessened somewhat.
“Strengthening people’s sense of purpose and social contribution might become part of addiction prevention or treatment, but we have to conduct controlled studies to be sure,” he said.
The fact that Judaism provides 613 mitzvahs (commandments) to be performed provides guidelines for feeling you are a good person, but “one doesn’t have to be religious to do good deeds. You can be a good person even without the religious aspect,” said Lifshin, who, like Mikulincer, is not religiously observant. Shmulewitz is.
The researchers warned that the study does not show that believing one will be remembered causes better mental health. The relationship could also work in the opposite direction, with poor mental health making it harder to feel connected, meaningful, or confident about one’s legacy.
More experimental and long-term research will also be needed to determine whether symbolic immortality itself plays a causal role in these mental health and addiction-related outcomes, they said.
Still, the findings suggest that “mental health and addiction-related problems may be tied not only to biological, cognitive, or personality processes, but also to the extent to which people feel they have established a sense of purpose, socio-cultural connection, and significance that can endure beyond their own death.
“Symbolic immortality may represent not only self-transcendence, but a form of death transcendence – a way of psychologically managing the knowledge of mortality by feeling that some part of oneself will continue through others, one’s identity, or one’s legacy,” they concluded.
