Emma Beagley Was Ashamed of Hoarding and Couldn’t Move On)Emma Beagley, a stroke survivor in her 40s from Bristol, says she felt ashamed as clutter took over her home, and that hoarding left her unable to move on with her life after a stroke in 2018.
The stroke caused permanent paralysis on her left side. Her ability to process things declined, and adapting to life with carers was hard.
“My house was stacked with boxes and things that weren’t adding to my daily life,” Beagley said.
Shame and the carers’ questions
Carers kept asking where things should go. Beagley struggled to answer, so items piled up and her embarrassment grew. “I felt ashamed,” she said.
Her psychologist recognised she was “bordering on hoarder status”, Beagley said. She would need a solution before she could move forward.
She contacted Anna Davies and Sarah Sampson, who founded The Good Sort four years ago. The Bristol-based service, in Shirehampton, offers practical and emotional help to people overwhelmed by their belongings.
“They needed my input to tell them how they could help me to rearrange my living space so that I didn’t have to spend so much of my energy and time explaining things to carers,” Beagley said.
Why people hold on
The World Health Organisation formally classified hoarding disorder as a <a Decluttering is about asking <a re holding on to the things you're holding on to," she said.
She said belongings can connect people to old identities, lost capabilities, financial guilt and difficulty accepting change. “But the ‘what ifs’ keep you locked into living in the past,” she added.
Marketing and guilt
Chloe Wright, who runs Goddess Organising in Frome, Somerset, said many clients had been “manipulated” by marketing into buying more than they needed.
She described people who spent heavily on makeup and cosmetics they no longer use. They still cannot let go because they feel guilt-tripped and do not want to add to landfill.
Not just the surface problem
Gemma Mason, a psychotherapist from Trowbridge in Wiltshire with 26 years in practice, said the underlying causes need attention. Clearing items alone is not enough.
“We have to be careful of removing the surface problem, but not the underlying psychological need, which is not met if you just take items away,” she said.
Wright said clients often feel “embarrassed and ashamed” when they first meet her, but that changes once the process starts. Each decision can be slow and traumatic, and the work involves coaching and negotiating.
“By the end of the day, they’ve realised that the world hasn’t burnt down by removing this thing and their decisions get easier,” she said.
Take the quizWhat Kind of Holiday Spender Are You? Take the Black Friday QuizStart →Most Read
- 1Column: 4 Reasons to Eat Dark Chocolate, Dietitians Say
- 2Mavericks Surfers Race to California for Waves Near 50 Feet
- 3Chrissie Swan, 52, Tears Up Over Secret Surprise While Recovering
- 4Meghan Markle Plans US Return to See Mother After Father’s Arrest
- 5Aspyn Ovard Reveals Daughter Has Terminal Cancer on Mormon Wives
Don’t Miss
Lifestyle7 Signs Your Social Battery Is Running Low (and Why You Keep Cancelling Plans)Lifestyle · Food & HealthThanksgiving Food Safety: How Long Leftovers Last and the Safe Turkey TemperatureLifestyle7 Quiet Habits of Emotionally Intelligent People, According to PsychologistsLifestylePeople Who Don’t Like Celebrating Their Birthday Often Share These 7 Traits
